Fractions
by Baby Rose
Summary: FOLKEN-HITOMI PAIRING: Hitomi stayed on Gaea for Van, but ended up in Folken's arms instead, meeting him only in secret. Now Van is suspicious that they're together, and Hitomi must end their relationship. But how will they say goodbye? (One-shot)


**Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or Bandai. **

_**Author's Notes: **Please, please, I beg you, do not flame me if you're a severe Van/Hitomi shipper. I realize this doesn't show him in the best light, but he's really not the antagonist, I promise. I like Van, really I do, I just don't like him with Hitomi. So please, if you don't like my pairing, don't yell at me for it._

I worked insanely hard on this fic, and I've gotten positive feedback from one person so far. So please review if you did like it, and if you didn't, but only if you have real constructive criticism. I welcome criticism that's constructive, but not, "I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU HATE VAN!" type thing. Kay? Thanks! Enjoy. 

_**Fractions**_

Tears were stained on Hitomi's cheeks. I found her standing outside at 2:33 AM, with pleading olive green eyes and trembling hands. Dressed in my robe, I ushered her inside by the shoulders, settling her on the sofa and closing the door behind her.

I took a seat beside her on the couch, placing my metal arm on her back, then removing it an instant later. I switched sides, and used my real arm to comfort her. I didn't have to ask what was wrong; she told me herself through little hiccups and sighs. I wished she wouldn't cry.

"Van and I had a fight," she started, keeping her eyes forward. "I think he knows about us, Folken. He asked me why I'm not there sometimes when he comes home. I had to lie. I hate lying. I'm horrible at it! He's suspicious, I know it. We have to end this!"

I couldn't even pretend to be surprised. This wasn't the first time she'd tried to end it, even though it was the first time Van had shown suspicion. The first time I respected her decision. I told her I understood, and we even made it to the door to say goodbye.

That night ended in the first time Hitomi stayed with me until dawn.

_One in three you're here __  
__(One in three you are here __  
__To tell me we can't do this) __  
__To tell me we can't do this __  
__(Three for three I'll disagree) __  
__Anymore _

"You know we can't do that, Hitomi," I told her gently.

She let out another little sob, sagging against me. She didn't deny what I'd said. "I stayed for him, Folken," she told me. "I knew how I felt about you before you killed Dornkirk, but I never thought you'd feel the same way. I stayed because I knew he loved me. But when you said…" She trailed off.

"When I told you what I was thinking as I defeated Dornkirk," I finished for her. "When I knew you didn't want me to live just for Van's sake… I had a reason to stay here. You gave me a reason to live."

Hitomi shook her head. "I can't believe you didn't have a reason before," she said.

"I was under the impression you loved Van as much as he loves you," I told her matter-of-factly. "And Van was ready to kill me himself. There was no sense in continuing to live."

"I hate to think if my prediction had come true…"

"But it didn't," I said quickly. "It didn't."

"He's never shown signs of knowing about us before," she said despairingly, quickly reverting back to Van. "He can't know."

I pulled my arm away from her, slowly folding them in my lap. I wanted to say, "Why not? If he finds out, why is it relevant to how we feel?" But I didn't. The internal struggle Hitomi felt far outweighed my own turmoil, and she didn't need more complication.

_Your hair and face against the mirror __  
__As I take the steps __  
__To save what's left of me __  
__Someone's out when it's over _

"Right," I said softly, as convincingly as I could. "Then…this will be our last night."

Fresh tears filled Hitomi's eyes as she nodded. "I don't want to, Folken. If there was a way…I would stay. But you know how Van is. It would be better if I went back to Earth and let him think it was only because of him."

_But it _is_ because of him,_ I thought desperately. _We meet this way because of Van. We say goodbye because of Van. _

"Your work here was finished a year and a half ago," I agreed, my voice devoid of emotion. "It wasn't right for you to stay in the first place."

I could see that my words stung. I didn't wish to be cold. I tried to soften the blow I'd just delivered. "Fate changed because of me," I told her quietly. "Your fate lies back on the Mystic Moon. I won't deprive you of the future you're destined to live, Hitomi."

_People steal from you __  
__They take anything they choose_

She sniffled, taking in the words. I got the feeling she was unsure whether she agreed or disagreed, and elected to keep silent. But I wasn't finished. "The gap in our ages has never been appropriate as well," I told her, shaking my head. "If anyone knew how young you truly are, there would be trouble. Especially with Van."

Taking my hand in hers, Hitomi met my eyes for the first time since she walked through the door. They were anxious, distressed, and pained. I could hardly stand to keep them level with mine. "One more night," she whispered, her voice strained and constricted. "We have one more night."

I didn't even need to think about it. I took her hand in mine and led her toward the bedroom, settling her over on the left side and covering her in blankets. She seemed grateful for something soft to cling to. Removing my robe down to my night clothing, I climbed in beside her.

Immediately, she gravitated to my side. This was the usual routine we'd gone through for months now. Resting her hand on my chest, she clutched a handful of my shirt in her hand, either out of frustration or for comfort, I couldn't be sure. She let out a shuddering breath; I felt its warmth across my body.

"I'm sorry," she said very softly.

I looked down, giving her a puzzled stare. "What?"

"You've never been anything but supportive of me," she replied. "You've never tried to control me. You've never been selfish, and that's what I'm being. I'm sorry."

"You're not selfish," I said firmly. "This is for both of us."

Silence ensued between us for so long I was sure Hitomi had fallen asleep, but I heard her voice again, still quiet and somewhat tight. "It's funny," she said. "I've done this almost every night for eight months, and I've never felt safer or more content with you than I do now."

_It's good to see you (I missed you last night)  
__That's such a lovely color (It goes with your eyes)  
__Before we fall asleep (I just wanted to say)  
__This all seems so easy  
__But there's choices to make_

I knew she didn't want to leave. She was leaving out of fear. Van finding out that she'd been unfaithful to him with the brother he loathed was the last thing she wanted. Of course, I didn't want Van to be hurt. He was still my brother, I loved him. But letting Hitomi leave was too much. To see her in so much pain was too much.

"I'll miss you, Folken," she said, her voice still hushed. She clutched the piece of my shirt in her fist tightly again, and I pulled her closer.

"I'll miss you too, Hitomi."

I listened to her breathing for the next several minutes, until it finally became even, and her grip on my clothes loosened. I glanced down at her face, and found it in the same distressed, contorted expression. It tore me apart.

My thoughts jumbled and my mind discontent, I turned out the light and fell into an uneasy sleep filled with nightmares.

_Can't decide  
__Then look at the faces (Candlelight)  
__We're burning the pages (But ask us why)  
__And hurting ourselves with this false start (Resign yourself)  
__And always be (and we pretend)  
__Without the one (as if it gets easier)  
__Thing you need (but does it get easier?)  
__Debating words with no replies_

We woke the next morning with nothing to say to each other. Hitomi put on my robe after showering, and I started to cook breakfast. My mind was elsewhere; I couldn't focus on the fact that I wouldn't be seeing Hitomi again, so I settled upon silence. Nothing was different except the unusual quiet, and the uncomfortable, awkward feeling I had that Hitomi must've felt too.

She walked around the house, seeming almost lost. I'd found a home outside Asturia shortly after defeating Dornkirk. Van wanted me to stay in the palace, but I knew I couldn't. Seeing Hitomi with him every day was more than I could handle. I explained to him that I needed some time to myself, and I couldn't do that within the walls of the palace. Although now, he might guess that my intentions had been different.

I watched her from the corner of my vision, stirring the food I was making for us. No, she didn't seem lost…Hitomi _was _lost, in more ways than the physical. She was just as lost as I was. Maybe that was the reason we came together. In our endeavor to find ourselves, we found something greater than ourselves. We found each other.

And that was why letting go was so unbelievably difficult.

_When we have these mornings where we can't say goodbye_

Something shattered in the back room, near the bathroom. I dropped the spatula I was holding and hurried toward the source of the sound, finding Hitomi in the bathroom, kneeling down to pick up the shattered remnants of a small mirror. She looked frustrated, and her voice was remorseful as she apologized profusely.

"It's all right," I said softly, leaning down to help her. "I wasn't fond of it anyway. Don't cut yourself." I took the shards from her, and looked up, meeting her moist eyes.

Extending my hand, I helped her up, dropping the shards from my other hand in the trash. "It…it was really an accident," she said tonelessly, following my hand to the trash with her eyes. "I'm sorry."

I turned and led her out of the bathroom calmly. "I know," I said, just as quietly. "I know."

I brought her over to the couch as I had the night before and settled her down there, going back to the food before it burned. "I think," she started, speaking louder so I could hear her from the kitchen, "he's going to come looking for me."

I paused in the middle of stirring, and kept going a moment later. "Van will look elsewhere before he admits to himself that you're here," I told her. "That's just how Van is, even if he is suspicious."

She nodded, but didn't seem convinced. I wondered if the reason she'd dropped the mirror was because she'd made a prediction about Van. "Even so…I should leave soon. Telling him I'm going back to Earth won't be simple."

I pulled two plates down from the cupboard and started placing the food on them. "Do you fear Van that much?" I asked plainly, keeping my eyes on the plates. "Has he done something to make you fear him?" My voice was on the edge of the tiniest trace of anger; I could hear it.

"No, no," she insisted, quick to correct me. "It's not like that. It's never been that. I just don't want him to realize it really is you, Folken. I want to go back to Earth without him ever knowing the truth."

_I wanted to mean everything to you  
__But this isn't right  
__You keep coming back disassembled  
__And I keep losing this fight_

I was quiet as I finished dishing up the plates. The clatter of silverware was the only sound as I made my way over to her with one plate in each hand. "Follow me," I said, continuing toward the back door. The ocean was my backyard, and I had a deck we ate breakfast on every once in a while, when the weather was appropriate.

This morning was particularly beautiful. The sun was barely rising; orange, yellow and pink hues tinted the clouds on the horizon. The tide was coming in, lapping waves over the sand in a gentle manner. It didn't seem fitting.

I took a deep breath of the salty sea air, and exhaled slowly. We sat in two chairs on the deck, and Hitomi started to eat, but I didn't pick up my fork. I was locking my jaw and biting the inside of my cheek. Finally, I stated, "I want you to tell Van the truth about us before you leave."

Hitomi nearly choked on her orange juice. "What?" she sputtered, eyes wide as she stared at me. "Folken, I can't…"

"Then I will," I responded automatically. "But one of us has to. It's not fair to Van if he lives the rest of his life wondering whether you left because of him, or if we betrayed him." As much as I wanted Hitomi to stay, I'd been thinking about Van all morning, and I decided that he deserved to know the truth about us, no matter how we felt. It was his emotions on the line too, not just mine and Hitomi's.

"But he'll be so angry with you," she insisted.

"It's the right thing to do." I reached for her hand, locking her gaze and giving her a small smile. "I can handle my little brother."

She let out a sigh. "I guess you're right. Van should know the truth."

"I'll take responsibility," I promised. "He'll find out one way or another. I think it would be easier to hear from you."

Her eyes remained on the horizon. I started to eat, and Hitomi took another swig of juice, which went down smoothly this time. After a moment, she said quietly, "He asked me to marry him."

_Dancing on the starlight glow  
__No one in the city knows  
__Confidence can take you  
__Nerves try to shake you  
__From going all the way_

It felt like the waves stopped, the birds ceased their songs, and my breath stopped coming, all in the same second after she said those words. When I found my voice, it squeaked, "What?"

"Last night," she explained, "before we fought. That's what…brought on the fight, really."

"You said no?" I guessed.

"No, it was worse than that," she answered. "I didn't say anything at all. I just started crying." She laughed humorlessly. "Like I do every time."

I looked over at her, my brow knitting together. "Hitomi…"

_It's not that far…_

She ignored me and continued. "He asked me again, and I still couldn't talk. He seemed hurt at first, and asked me if I loved him or not, and I said I wasn't sure. He got angry then, asking me why I stayed with him at all, and if there was someone else. That's when he started connecting my disappearances… I've never seen Van so angry."

"Van's always had a temper," I said, thinking back to the year before, and all the years I'd known him when he was young. "Especially when it involves matters of personal interest to him."

"I've hurt him so much," she said regretfully. "I hate hurting him again."

I couldn't think of anything intelligent or comforting to say, so we finished breakfast in silence.

_It's good to see you (I missed you last night)  
__That's such a lovely color (It goes with your eyes)  
__Before we fall asleep (I just wanted to say)  
__This all seems so easy  
__There's choices to make_

When we'd finished eating, I took her hand and we started toward the shore. We didn't have much time left, and feeling her touch merely reminded me that I would never feel such warmth again. I tried to block the thoughts from invading my mind.

She was watching her feet as we walked, kicking up the sand. I suddenly had a pressing question as I thought about Hitomi returning home. "How would this be different if we were on the Mystic Moon?" I asked abruptly, staring at the place in the sky where the planet could be seen.

She was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Would our predicament be the same if we lived on the Mystic Moon? Would people think of us differently?"

Hitomi shrugged. "There are a lot of differences between Gaea and Earth," she explained. "But I think the situation would be about the same. I mean, anyone on Earth would be angry if they found out their significant other was cheating on them with their brother." She laughed , though she didn't look as if she found it very funny.

"What about our age gap?" I inquired tentatively.

"That's…pretty much the same, too. Except that it would be illegal for us to marry until I'm eighteen. They just have more strict laws about it than you do here, I guess."

On some level, I had expected that answer. "So even on a different planet we couldn't be together."

She was quiet. After noticeable hesitation, she said, "You wouldn't come to Earth with me anyway…would you?"

The offer was tempting. Staying behind to deal with Van and not having Hitomi by my side wasn't exactly an ideal outcome for me. But I knew it wasn't right to leave with her. It wouldn't rid us of our problems.

I shook my head slowly. "My place is here. Running away isn't the answer."

She nodded a little too vigorously. "Yeah," she agreed. "I mean, I knew that was the case."

We stopped walking, facing the sunrise that tinted the ocean waves. The sound of the roaring suction coming in and out of the shore was the only sound. It seemed as if we were on the edge of Gaea; the last two people who existed.

_We watch the tide roll in  
__With cold air and coffeecake  
__Holding our words at lips  
__Stopping the sounds they make  
__We know the way to go  
__We know each step to take  
__To be here_

Hitomi suddenly let out a gasp and sprang to life. "He's coming," she said, eyes wide with panic. "He's going to find us! I have to leave _now_."

I'd come to recognize the way Hitomi reacted when she saw a glimpse of the future. I had no doubts it would come true if we continued to stand there as we were. She made a move to start back up toward the house, and I let my wings unfurl from my back. I wrapped one around her body, blocking her way. She stared at the black feathers, her gaze softening, while I stayed rooted to my spot.

"You won't say goodbye?" I asked impassively.

I felt her touching the feathers, and after a moment, she turned around and came back to face me. "I'm sorry. I'll never forget you," she whispered. "Never."

Still with wings extended, I placed my arms around her frame, along with my wings. They encircled Hitomi's body, and she wrapped her own arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder. We stood in that position for a few precious moments. I was hoping it would never end, but the sun was rising higher in the sky each second.

Hitomi looked up into my eyes, and I found that they were filling with tears again. "Don't cry," I pleaded softly. I leaned down and kissed her for the final time, and could feel wet drops on my cheeks. When she pulled away, Hitomi said in a whisper the words I would hear for the first and only time in my life from a woman.

"I love you, Folken."

Through the ache I felt so strongly, I smiled sadly. "I love you too, Hitomi."

_These words with no replies  
__Stopping we's, starting I's  
__This need is killing me  
__And taking me over_

Her bottom lip trembled, but before we could say anything more, a voice we both dreaded hearing echoed down toward us.

"Hitomi? Hitomi, are you here?"

Van sounded desperate and fearful…I wondered how far he would go in his search. But neither of us wished to find out. Hitomi reached up on the tips of her shoes to kiss my cheek, said a hushed, tearful, "Goodbye," in my ear, and started to run up the beach.

She looked back once, tears running freely down her cheeks.

"Van!" I heard her yell, while she waved an arm. "I'm here, Van! I have something to tell you."

I watched Hitomi until she had completely disappeared from sight, and listened to Van's voice fade away with her. I couldn't make out what he was saying. Van never even knew I was there. When they were gone, the silence was there to greet me once again.

And just like that, she was gone. Before the close of day, she would be out of my reach forever. My wings folded back into my body, and I felt my knees hit the sand. A small part of me wished now that Hitomi's prediction about the day I defeated Dornkirk had come true.

_I wanted to mean everything to you  
__But this isn't right  
__You keep coming back disassembled  
__And I keep losing this fight…_

"Will somebody tell me why," I said through gritted teeth, feeling a lump forming in my throat, "my wishes _never _come true?"

In all the times I had asked that question, I never wanted to know the answer more than I did at that moment.


End file.
